Harry Potter and the Cursed Shinobi Wizard
by barryc10
Summary: AU. James and Lily survive their encounter with Voldie, and move to the Hidden Countries. How will their life be with both Harry and Naruto to raise. Please R & R. Rating upped to M for language, violence, and brief nudity. Comedy will be present.
1. Chapter 1

**Harry Potter and the Cursed Shinobi Wizard**

**A/N: This is my first three-way cross-over. It's a cross between Harry Potter and Naruto with a bit of Ranma 1/2 thrown in. Please read and review to tell me what you think. Also, technology is 10 years ahead of canon. Also, it's a Lily and James survive fic.**

**Disclaimer, I don't own Harry Potter, Ranma 1/2, or Naruto.**

**Chapter 1:**

_October 31, 1991:_

James Potter was lounging in the couch of his Godric's hollow house with his wife and kid. James's hair was black and messy, and he was wearing casual wizarding clothes. However, he was also wierder than most wizards, for he had a curse. One that transcended his entire family. For he was both a boy... and a girl. His wife, Lily was next to him on said couch, with young Harry on her lap. She had one of her arms around James' back, as she read a story to Harry. James knew that Harry also tested positive for the curse, as he had bathed Harry with cold water one time, and realised that when he pulled their son out, they had a daughter instead. He placed a warming charm on the water, and placed Harry into it again, causing him to change back. You see James was a member of the old Saotome family, so that meant that harry was also a member of the family, and as it happened, had the curse as well.

While the Potters were lounging, their archenemy was heading for their house, his accomplice in tow. When he reached the house, he pulled his wand out, whose handle was made of bone, and blasted the door down. James and lily both jumped at that.

"Lily, take Harry and run, he's here!"

At hearing that, Lily grabbed Harry and ran upstairs, hoping to get to their special apparition spot, when she heard the two words that sent chills down her spine, and knew that James wouldn't make it.

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!!_"

A flash and a thud signified that someone had died, but the voice was her husband's. The next thing that occured, she heard Voldemort cast the curse, but just the sound of a spell hitting wood, as she reached the apparition spot. She left the house upon the sound of the third cry of the killing curse, again by her husband, and a scream of pain, as she knew that voldemort was defeated before she apparated. She appeared where it would take them, in the middle of Konohagakura no Sato, just after James' friend Minato had finished a special jutsu on his own son, but she watched him tweak it as the number eight appeared over it for a bit.

"There... now, if you... invoke... eight tails or higher... I'll arrive... and stop you... from freeing the beast...."

Minato collapsed soon after, and James arrived in time to see Minato die. He sighed as he saw Naruto crying. He then saw Sarutobi pick him up, heading for the tower, he motioned for the two to follow.

­Upon arriving at the Hokage tower, the three and two infants each went to various seats, James to the head of the Saotome clan, Lily next to him, Sarutobi at his spot, and the two infants on the table before the councilers.

"Gentlemen and ladies, I speak before as the new Hokage once again, seeing as Minato died to save our village from destruction. However this peace will be shortlived--"

"Exactly why we should kill the blond brat now, while he's an infant. If he grows up, he'll eventually lose control, and release the Kyuubi no Kitsune!"

James was furious.

"I watched Minato alter the seal slightly, with a number eight floating briefly, and heard him say this: 'There... now, if you invoke eight tails ot higher, I'll arrive and stop you from freeing the beast'."

The councilers were in an uproar, until one Danzou spoke up.

"How do we even know he's trustworthy? He may be a seal master, but he can still make mistakes."

That was the wrong thing to say, as he was struck with a red light, and was thrown back and knocked out.

"Anyone else want to have a go at my friend?"

Sarutobi cleared his throat.

"Now, the matter at hand is who will adopt Naruto. We can't have him clan-less."

"I will." James said, shocking everyone there.

"The Saotome head? Preposterous. He would be better off as a Hyuuga."

"No he wouldn't, because he doesn't carry your bloodline, teme."

"Nor does he carry your curse dobe."

"We have the springs that contain the curse Hiashi-Teme."

That silenced all of them.

"Very well, you will have custody of one Naruto Uzumaki, now Naruto Saotome. Make sure to give him the curse as soon as you are able."

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

"This meeting is adjorned."

The ninja all shunshined out of the roon, as James apparated to his old home, with lily on his heels, holding Harry and Naruto.

**TBC...**

**A/N: That was chapter one. Please read and review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yes, Dumbledore knows about James' curse, and he also knows that Harry has it. The aged wizard also knows about the Ninja countries, as he's friends with the Third Hokage.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Harry Potter or the Ranma curse. I only own this plot and the clothes on my back and in my dresser.**

**WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEX IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ.**

**Chapter 2:**

_10 years later: May 29, 2001_

Harry was heading for the Acadamy, and heard a commotion near the Hokage Monument. He ran toward it, and face-palmed when he saw what happened.

'I can't believe he'd do this! He'll get in big trouble for this! Better wash the paint off now, or we'll both regret it.'

Harry started doing handseals, and finished just as some Chuunin saw the spectacle.

'Gotta use it fast!'

"SUITON: SUIRYUUDAN NO JUTSU!" A huge burst of water in the shape of a water dragon shot from Harry's mouth, and slammed into the monument, washing off all the paint in one fell sweep, causing Naruto to fall to the ground.

"Who did that? Only someone of Kakashi's calibre could have done that.

When Naruto struggled to get up, his hair, now down to his waist, fell in front of his eyes, shocking him. He let out a gasp, which was now soprano, and looked himself over. Besides being soaking wet, he was also a girl, which all the shinobi noticed, and Hinata, who was also on her way, confirmed with her Byakugan. She then shut it off with a deep blush, before fainting as Naruto started taking his outfit off to wring it out. Harry just laughed as his brother, now sister, wrung out her outfit. Upon hearing laughter, Naruko scowled, then frowned as a tick-mark appeared on her face. She was still half-dressed, with her jacket in her hands but with her pants on, yet she managed to sneak up on Harry. Smirking, she performed a weak Water Jutsu, spraying the young ninja-in-training with enough cold water to activate the curse. Now that they were both girls, they laughed together as Naruko put her jacket back on to cover her chest and stomach.

"You really need to start wearing a shirt under that in case you transform, NARUTO!!!" an irate Iruka yelled, but his anger was directed when he heard perverted giggling. Naruko-Chan and Harry-Chan also heard it, and smiled at each other, using the distraction to sneak up on the white-haired man.

"You know, I never knew that jiraiya-sama was perverted enough to use kids in his ero-soushi." Naruko said in a sickly sweet voice that meant trouble. Jiraiya tensed and started sweat-dropping. "just wait until my dad hears that the Ero-Sennin was trying to use his son/daughter in one of his Shousetsu."

Naruko giggled slightly.

"Yeah, they're not even that good. I mean James Tou-san let me read one, and I didn't like it... too dry. Try more violence. I mean, who wants to read a story that's all smut and no action. In fact, if he made it for a younger audience as well, then he'd get more readers. More readers means more fame, and he'd get rid of his perverted reputation."

Jiraiya's mind was working overtime with all the new info.

"Also, with more readers comes more money. More money comes more gambling. More gambling measn a higher chance of meeting Tsunade-Sama again. That is your ultimate goal, right? To Get Tsunade-Sama in--"

Naruko was cut off by Iruka placing a hand over his mouth."

"Never mention Jiraiya and Tsunade in the same sentence that has a sexual connotation to it. You never know who's listening in. Now get to class, all of you!"

_After class was started:_

"This is the day of the final exams. Now Harry has shown excellent control of the Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu, though he used too much Chakra and could have destroyed the monument if he lost it. And Naruto has shown adept control of a weaker Water Jutsu called Retsu Ame no Jutsu."

Naruko raised her hand.

"Yes, Naruko?"

"I also know the Atsui Ame no Jutsu."

"Yeah right, dobe. That takes more control that Retsu Ame no Jutsu."

Naruko just frowned cutely with a rainbow behind her, and Sasuke almost fell victim to it... almost.

'How'd she learn Gai's Genjutsu?' Iruka thought while sweatdropping.

"Naruko, why don't you show us?"

"Alright."

Naruko stood up, and performed a few handseals, stopping on dragon.

"Atsui Ame no Jutsu." A warm rain fell on Naruko and Harry-Chan, transforming them into their male counterparts.

Iruka smiled slightly, then got back into his "business mode".

"For this year's final exam, you'll have to show mastery of the Bunshin no Jutsu. You'll enter, one at a time, into the testing room, and perform the Jutsu. You'll need to create at least three perfect Bunshin to pass. And for thos thinking they can just use the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, we have Hyuuga Hiashi here to help with the testing."

_After most of the class took the test:_

"Will Saotome Harry please enter the testing room."

Harry sighed, and walked toward it. This was his moment of truth. Upon entering the room, he smirked at the imposing figure of Hyuuga Hiashi, who just smirked back. He remembered what he and Naruto did for his first daughter, and Hyuugas always repay their debts.

_Flashback:_

_Naruto and Harry were heading back to their clan home from the Acadamy. It had been their second day, and they were excited. Naruto, the six-year-old, had a permanent smile on his face, while Harry, the seven-year-old, had a smirk. That is, until they heard the sound of a scream and a thud, at which point they ran toward the location. Harry saw a ninja with a young girl over his shoulder, and knew that Konoha never handled their children that way, so he looked at Naruto and did some hand signs. Naruto nodded, and charged forward as Hiashi watched, having been there the entire time. Naruto stood in front of the foreign ninja, trying to block his way forward, while Harry snuck around back. He did a quick replacement Jutsu to replace himself with the young child, who he realised was Hinata. The ninja noticed the shift in weight, and scowled as he saw that Harry was in the place of Hinata. He threw Harry down, hoping that he broke at least one bone, but didn't make it far when he realised that he was staring down Hyuuga Hiashi._

_Hiashi got into the Jenken stance, until he heard Naruto speak._

_"defeat him, but don't kill him. My father told me about how Cloud will do anything to get something called Byakugan, or whatever he called it."_

_Hiashi nodded, and got back into the Jenken stance._

_"You are in the range of divination. Hakke Rokujuuyonsho."_

_Hiashi then proceeded to close 64 of the Cloud ninja's Tenketsus, leaving him barely moving, but alive._

_"The next time you try to steal my daughter, you'll get twice the punishment."_

_Flashback end..._

Hiashi watched as Harry performed but failed the Bunshin test. He created three bunshin, but only two of them were perfect. One of them was a mess.

Iruka's eye was twitching and he sighed.

"You tried, but I can't let you pass. You need to create three perfect clones. You created two, so that's worthy of a 60 percent, a failing grade still."

Harry nodded, dejected, while Mizuki smiled inwardly.

'We can't have the Kyuubi no kitsune or its brother passing, that's why I put a Chakra disrupter into their drinks. I'll do that every year I'm a teacher here, so they continue to fail the test.'

"Naruto Saotome, please enter."

Naruto entered, and smiled at Hiashi, remembering how he helped the Hyuuga clan by telling them what he knew of Cloud. Since then, Cloud never tried anything, and since no one was killed, they couldn't use the eye for an eye thing.

"Please perform the Bunshin no Jutsu."

'I know that Mizuki spiked our drinks, but brother Harry failed. I can't pass without my brother. Oh well, Misuki knows my control is worse than Harry's, so I'll pretend to be spiked.'

Naruto performed the jutsu, and only created one very bad off clone. He hung his head in shame when he was failed, but looked up when Misuki didn't say anything.

'That shouldn't have happened, he shouldn't have created anything! His control is worse than Harry's, and he was barely affected., so it's possible that the Kyuubi can't be poisoned.'

Naruto smiled slightly as he left, glad to have wiled Mizuki up, but didn't notice that he was being followed.

Upon leaving, Naruto and Harry were confronted by Mizuki, and Naruto growled in a fox-like way.

"What do you want, Mizuki-senpai?"

Mizuki didn't miss the tone in Naruto's voice, and smiled slightly.

"I only want to help."

"Help, more like get us to help you steal something."

Mizuki recoiled slightly, before scowling.

"All I wanted to tell you was that there's a special second test going on soon, and to pass it, you need to show mastery of one technique not taught in the acadamy. But if you'd rather not..."

Naruto's face broke into a smile, and agreed to it immediately. Harry agreed just as fast, but also knew that this would be harder.

**To be continued...**

**A/n: And that's chapter 2 of this story. Please read and review. And now for the translations...**

_Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water element: Water Dragon Bullet technique): A rank_

A water element jutsu that creates a dragon from water. It's commonly used by Mist Ninja, and is very powerful.

_Suiton: Retsu Ame no Jutsu (Water Element: Cold Rain Technique): C Rank_

A water Element jutsu that causes cold rain to fall on the intended targets. Created by the Saotome clan to help with their curse when there's no cold water nearby.

_Suiton: Atsui Ame no jutsu (Water Element: Warm Rain Technique): C Rank_

A Water Element Jutsu that causes warm rain to fall on the intended target. Created by the Saotome clan to reverse the curse when there's no warm water nearby.

_Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique): D Rank_

A technique that creates illusory clones of the castor. Requires intense control to use.

_Hakke Rokujuuyonsho (Gentle Fist Art: Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms): B Rank_

A technique that can only be used by the Hyuuga. It uses the all seeing power of the Byakugan to close sixty-four of the three hundred sixty-one tenketsu of the opponent.

_Ero-soushi:_ perverted books

_Ero-Sennin:_ Perverted Hermit.

_Tousan:_ Father

­­_-Senpai:_ Senior/Superior


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in a long while. Here's Chapter 3.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or Naruto.**

"" - Speaking

_hello?_ - Thinking

"**YOU!!**" - Demon/inner-self speaking

_**What to do?**_ - Demon/Inner-self thinking

**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!** - Jutsu

_Last time:_

_"All I wanted to tell you was that there's a second make-up test occuring soon. All you have to do is perform one Jutsu that you don't learn from the Academy, but if you don't want to..."_

_Naruto's face broke into a smile and he agreed instantly. Harry agreed just as fast, but he knews it would be harder._

**Chapter 3:**

Mizuki smiled inwardly. _Hook line and sinker._

"I'd suggest learning a technique from the Forbidden Scroll. Happy learning."

Naruto smiled, but Harry had a scowl, which the blonde wonder noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Something's not right. Why would our number one hater, who would rather see us dead, suddenly give us a way to graduate? Not to mention, the Forbidden Scroll is labeled "Forbidden" for a reason. It's full of Kinjutsus, and nothing else. There's more to this supposed make-up test than meets the eye, Naruto. Let's see the Hokage, and tell him everything Mizuki told us."

"All right Harry, if you insist."

The two failed students made their way to the Hokage tower, where the teachers were in a meeting, which Mizuki was not present for.

"Hokage, most of the group passed. The only thing I see wrong is that both Harry could use the **Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu** and Naruto could use the **Suiton: Atsui Ame no Jutsu**, yet neither could perform the **Bunshin no Jutsu**." Iruka said.

Before the Hokage could respond, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

The door opened and harry and Naruto walked in, and saw all the teachers, most of them glaring at the two.

"What is so important that you had to interrupt a meeting?"

"It's just that Mizuki spoke to the two of us about a second make-up test involving Jutsus not taught at the academy, and suggested us using the Forbidden Scroll. I suspect that he's going to steal it and use us as scapegoats."

The teachers all murmured, and Iruka was pale-faced.

"Hokage-Sama, what will you do?"

"We'll set a trap. We'll trick him by having you learn a Jutsu of your choice from the scroll, while Iruka and myself will forge a fake D-A rank Jutsus that aren't forbidden, and give him that. No doubt he's working for the snake Orochimaru. He must be looking for a Jutsu to resurrect his partner Voldemort."

Harry was shocked. He'd learned who Voldemort was when he was six.

_Flashback:_

_James, Lily, and their two sons were sitting around the dinner table at their house._

_"Seems some of Voldemort's followers are still around Britain."_

_"Daddy, who's Voldemort?"_

_The whole table suddenly got more serious._

_"Voldemort is a wizard, like you, me, and your mother. But he was a terrible one. Not terrible as in weak, oh no, he had power in spades. He was extremely evil. He wanted us dead. Why, even I don't know. His partner in crime was Orochimaru, one of the Sannin, and fellow wizard. His favorite curse was Avada kedavra, the Killing Curse. Thankfully, he's gone now. I don't believe he's dead though, nor does Albus."_

_"Who?"_

_"Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, and extremely powerful wizard. He's the only one Voldemort ever feared."_

_Flashback end_

"You mean the very one who wanted my family dead? If he comes back, many wizards, witches and muggles will die."

"Indeed. So, let's do it."

_Later that night..._

Harry and Naruto were in the Hokage's secret chamber with the Forbidden Scroll, and they both found a Jutsu to learn. They both decided on the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, and only took 4 hours to master it. At which time they put the scroll back, and went to check on the Hokage and Iruka.

"You guys finished?" Harry asked.

"Yes, took a while, but we're done."

"I hope this works, Jiji." Naruto said, but then got sprayed by cold water from Harry.

"Mind your manners, it's Jiisan." Harry scolded.

"Whatever." Before Naruko wrung out her jacket, Harry put up a thick fog around the girl, to hide her budding breasts. The fig dissipated when Naruko put her jacket back on.

"Naruko-Chan, than was stupid. Only wring out your clothes in private. Sure you have barely anything there, but still!"

Naruko blushed in embarressment.

"Sorry." When she apologized, a rainbow appeared behind her, and all three face-faulted.

_Gotta learn how she learned Gai's Genjutsu!_ Iruka told himself.

"Now go, don't leave Mizuki waiting."

"Hai!" The two ran off.

"First thing I'm teaching them is Shunshin. They both have the Chakra for it."

Before they made it two steps Jiraiya stopped them.

"I think you'll need this for your mission." He handed them a Jutsu scroll. "Follow me."

Naruko and Harry followed Jiraiya to a peculiar training ground.

"In here, the concept of time is nonexistant. While you're in here, time out there stands still. So you can practice anything you wish, and you'll emerge like nothing ever happened. Hogwarts has a similar thing on the Seventh floor."

"You went to Hogwarts?"

"Yep. To be a Sannin, you must be the best magically and in Chakra control. Anyway. What I want you to learn is the Rasengan. Like I said, take as long as you need in here, for time doesn't move out there."

Naruko nodded.

"You'll find all you need in the scroll. Good luck."

_Several hours and many supplies later..._

Naruko and Harry were panting, but held their right hands out. Chakra started swirling around above their hands, compacting into a sphere, where they stayed in that shape until they cancelled it.

"Let's... go find... Mizuki...."

"No... let's rest.... We have... all the time... in the world...."

The two sat down, and rested, waiting for their energy to return.

_Several more hours later..._

Naruko woke up, and cast the Warm Rain Jutsu on herself, turning her into a boy. Naruto smiled, and used the same Jutsu on Harry, waking him up.

"Let's go!"

Harry nodded, and ran with Naruto to the forest where Mizuki was supposed to be, "Forbidden" Scroll in hand. They saw him up ahead.

"Mizuki, I know what you really wanted, and we have it. Take this to your master as a Nukenin."

"Silly demon. I'll take it from your cold dead hands!"

He pulled a vial from his pocket.

"I know you went to the Hokage. I don't know what plan you concocted, but it won't work."

Mizuki injested the contents of the vial. He started shapeshifting, transforming into a tiger monster.

"**Now, I'll kill you and your brother, and take the Forbidden Scroll to Orochimaru-Sensei. This is where your story ends, Nine-Tailed Fox and Demon Lover!**" Mizuki laughed before lunging at Naruto.

"Naruto!!" Harry tried to get to Naruto, but was too slow, as what seemed to be Naruto was sliced in half by Mizuki. Harry watched as Naruto's siillouette fell to the ground. Harry was enraged, and formed the cross seal.

"You messed with the wrong family, Mizuki-teme! **Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!!**"

In an instant, there were thousands of Harry's in the clearing, all cracking their knuckles. Mizuki stared terrified at the occurance. _This shouldn't be happening! He's not even a genin! I'm a Chuunin!_ Harry then held out his hand, and the clones followed suit. The clearing was soon filled with chakra, and the sound of something spinning. Soon after, thousands of giant spheres of energy were formed.

"You die today, Teme!! **Oodama Rasengan Rendan!!!**"

The spheres were all thrown at Mizuki from every possible angle. They were soon followed by some spinning discs of wind. Harry looked at where the discs were coming from and saw thousands of Narutos looking like they threw something. harry smiled just as the giant rasengans hit. A massive dust cloud was formed, and when it dissipated, only ashes remained of Mizuki.

"He's gone."

Naruto landed.

"We did good, didn't we?"

They made their way back to the Hokage's office.

_At the Hokage's office..._

"We saw everything. Good job you two. I present to you, your very own Ninja hitai-ites. You graduate!"

**To be continued...**

**A/N: That was Chapter 3. Plenty of action here. Please R&R.**

**Translations:**

Hokage: Fire Shadow

-Sama: Lord

Jiji: Old man

Jiisan: Grandpa

Sannin: Three ninja (Usually put as Densetsu no Sannin translated as legend of the three ninja)

Rasengan: Spiralling Sphere

Sensei: Teacher/Master/Professor

Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu: Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu

Oodama Rasengan Rendan: Great Ball Spiralling Sphere Barrage

**A/N: Ja ne!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First I want to say that there was a reason why there was no freaking out. This chapter will have a bit of brother fluff, and the reason why they didn't immediately freak out.**

Last Chapter:

_"I figured you wanted the Forbidden scroll, so here it is!" Harry said._

_Mizuki smiled._

_"I'd rather not let you kids live, so I'll kill you two, and take the scroll from your cold, dead hands."_

_He took out a vial and popped the top, before injesting it._

_"You'll witness the terror th__**at is Orochimaru-Sensei!**__"_

_Mizuki dashad at the two kids, and made a slashing motion at Naruto. Harry tried to get to Naruto, but had to watch as his sillouette was slashed in two, the pieces falling to the ground._

_"You'll pay for that! You __**messed with the wrong family!!**__"_

_Harry formed the cross seal._

_"__**Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!!**__"_

_A thousand clones of Harry appeared, all with one hand extended._

_"__**This is a new techniquer of mine, so sorry if its a little crude.**__"_

_Chakra started filling the air. So much so that everyone in the village could feel it. The chakra started compacting into giant spheres, and each clone had one, even the original._

_"__**You're life ends today! **__**Oodama Rasengan Rendan!!**__"_

_The clones each threw the giant spheres of chakra at Mizuki, but they were joined by discs of Chakra._

_"__**Kienzan!!**__"_

_The combined attacks struck the center, and a huge explosion rocked the place. When the smoke and dust cleared, all that was left was ash._

_"__**He's**__ gone."_

_Naruto landed._

_"We did good, huh?"_

_"Yeah. Let's go see Hokage Ojii-san."_

(Opening theme of Closer.)

**Chapter 4:**

Naruto and Harry were walking to the Hokage's office, when they both suddenly collapsed. The evidence of their first kill coming back to haunt them.

Iruka was looking over the evidence of the kill, and discovered something. The ash was wood ash, in other words, a substitution had occured.

Harry was trying to comfort Naruto when Iruka arrived.

"Guys, Mizuki is still at large."

This shocked them out of their stu8pors.

"But the ash--"

"Is wood ash. Mizuki used the **Kawarimi no Jutsu** to escape death. We'll be seeing him again, because he wouldn't go back to his master empty-handed. Let's go to Hokage-Sama and report this."

The two nodded and got up.

"Let's go."

The group of three ran off along the roofs to the Hokage tower.

_At the Hokage Tower..._

Iruka knocked on the Hokage's office door.

"Come in."

Iruka opened the door, and the three stepped in.

"Report."

"Well, Mizuki escaped. He used a Substitution to escape the attacks. So, we'll have to be careful, especially concerning missions outside the village."

"Right."

"Also, Naruto, Harry, due to an interrference, you two are awarded Ninja Hitai-ite. Had Mizuki not screwed with your drinks that day, you'd have gotten them then."

Harry smiled while Naruto jumped for joy. Harry foprmed a discreet Handseal, and Naruto was sprayed with cold water, enough to calm him down, but not enough to initiate the transformation. Naruto, in retaliation, formed the Henge seal, smirking while facing Harry.

"**Henge!!**"

He transformed into an older, nude Naruko, with just enough smoke in the right places to hide the desirables. The Hokage and Iruka, who were very susceptible to this kind of thing, were knocked out with nose-bleeds, and Jiraiya, who was invisible, simply astarted scribbling in his notebook of porn. Harry simply smirked.

"I'm your brother. I don't swing that way. But Jiraiya-Sensei is taking notes on your form. Let's see how much it takes for him to pass out."

Jiraiya suddenly started sweating, as Naruko reversed the Transformation, and the brothers dragged Jiraiya the the time bubble. Once in side, Naruto formed the cross seal, and created one clone, who both formed the **Henge** seal.

"**Henge!!**"

The two Narutos transformed into the nude Narukos, and Jiraiya's smile got huge. Seeing that didn't defeat him, he tried three. He kept increasing it by one, until at 1000 Jiraiya was finally konked out with a massive nose bleed, muttering "dream come true" over and over again. They dragged him to Konoha hospital, where the majority of the male doctors tried to scowl and smile at the same time, considering who it was, and the felame doctors simply couldn't believe that the pair knocked Jiraiya out.

_later at the Konoha Academy..._

Naruto and harry walked into the appropriate classroom, and were stopped by Shikamaru.

"What are you doing here, this is for graduates, remember."

"Then we're in the right place. See the headbands?"

Kiba laughed.

"So, you graduated after all. Great!"

"Hn. You two are the only ones who could keep up with me." (Guess who?)

Sakura and the other fangirls started advancing on Naruto and Harry, who created a privacy barrier around Naruto and the girls.

"Now, its time for a test run of my newest Jutsu."

He made the cross seal, which confused the girls.

"**kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**"

He created one solid clone, and they stood side by side, performing the **Henge** seal.

"**Oiroke: Otoko no Ko D****ōshi no Jutsu****!!**"

In a burst of smoke, the twoi Narutos transformed into... Sasuke and some unknown boy in a suggestive double pose. This had the effect of knocking some of the girls out, while others were enraged further, causing naruto to end the Jutsu and create several more Kage Bunshins, hiding among them with the Privacy barrier broken. The girls smacked on the clones, until Iruka used a Jounin-rank Jutsu, cancelling every active Jutsu. The girls found naruto, but couldn't advance to him as Iruka used his Big Head Jutsu to settle everyone down.

"Good, now. I'll list the teams. Team..."

_six team listings later..._

"Team Seven has Sakura Haruno, Harry Potter, Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki. Your sensei is Kakashi Hatake. Team eight is Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga, and Kiba Inuzuka. Your sensei is Kurenai Yuuhi. Team nine is still in circulation from last year. Team Ten is Chouji Akamichi, Shikamaru Nara, and Ino Yamanaka. Your sensei is Asuma Sarutobi. Please wait here for your senseis."

With that, he left the room. One by one the senseis came for their teams. Until only team seven remained.

_Three hours later..._

"Aaaagh, why isn't he here, yet? I'll set a trap."

Harry grabbed Naruto's arm, and pulled him down.

"Kakashi Hatake is a known fanatic of Jiraiya's works. He even reads them in public. No one knows why."

At that moment, a man with gravity-defying gray hair, a Hitai-ite worn cock-eyed to cover his left eye, and a mask to hide his lower face, with a Jounin vest and the Hatake outfit walked in. He looked over his team and simply shrugged.

"I don't have an opinion of you. Meet me on the roof in five minutes."

He then walked out.

"let's go guys."

Harry and his team walked to the roof.

**To be continued...**

**A/N: That was Chapter 4. Please read and review. Thanks.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hogwarts will occur later. It's still early in the summer in this story, near the beginning of July. I have put a poll up, and until I figure out what everyone wants, Hogwarts won't be happening. First will be a technique list of Team Seven.**

**Kakashi Hatake Notable Techniques:**

Raikiri

Chidori

Kage Bunshin

Rasengan

Kawarimi

**Sakura Haruno:**

Bunshin

Kawarimi

Henge

Inner Self Unleashed

**Sasuke Uchiha:**

Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu

Kawarimi

Bunshin

Henge

**Naruto Uzumaki:**

Rasengan

Kienzan

Kage Bunshin

Rasengan Rendan (Needs Clones)

Orioke no Jutsu

Orioke: Onna no Ko Dōshi

Kyuubi Unleashed: Initial State

**Naruko Namikaze:**

Rasengan

Fuuton: Kazegiri

Kage Bunshin

Orioke Otoko no Jutsu

Orioke: Otoko no Ko Dōshi

Inner Power Unleashed: Initial State

**Harry Potter:**

Rasengan

Oodama Rasengan

Kage Bunshin

Rasengan Rendan (needs Clones)

Oodama Rasengan Rendan

Orioke no Jutsu

**Harry Evans:**

Rasengan

Hinotama

Raikoutama

Raikou Bakudan

Hi Bakudan

Inner Power Unleashed: Initial State

**A/N: Now that that is out of the way, onto Chapter 5.**

**Chapter 5:**

Kakashi was waiting for the group of four when they arrived, five-and-a-half minutes later.

"Now, let's introduce ourselves. Since I'm the sensei, I'll start. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I am the studen of the fourth, along wioth my teammates Inuzuka Rin, and Uchiha Obito, from which I got this."

He pulled his headband up, showing his Sharingan eye, surprising Sasuke a bit.

"The reason why I got this, was I lost my real left eye protecting him, and when his whole right side was crushed just shortly after acquiring his Sharingan, he gave his left eye to me as a replacement. I visit the Memorial Stone every now and then, to pay homage to him and Minato-Sensei. I like reading Jiraiya-San's books, and dislike coming to work on time, for reasons already mentioned. My hobby... Haven't really thought about it. My dream for the future is to make Minato-Sensei and Obito-San proud, and to clear my father's name.

Ok, Pinkette, your turn."

"My name is Haruno Sakura. I like..." She looked at Sasuke, and the three boys groaned, while two of the boys inner girls wanted to beat Sakura up... badly. "I enjoy flower arrangement. My hobby is to..." She looked at Sasuke again, and squealed, causing the three boyus to groan, and for two of the boys inner girls to struggle against the curse binding them, trying to get at Sakura.

"In other words, you want to get inside Sasuke's pants." This blunt and sexual statement shocked everyone present, especially since it came from Naruto, the most sexually oblivious person in the world, if you don't count Voldemort. Inner Naruko was having a ball at Outer Sakura's discomfort at such a statement. Harry and Sasuke simply had slight blushes, and kakashi gave a perverted giggle, causing every head except his own to look at him with murder in their eyes.

"Kakashi-Sensei,. there's someone I want you to meet."

Naruto and Harry both performed a few handsigns.

"**Suiton: Retsu Ame no jutsu!**" Cold rain spontaneously fell on both Naruto and Harry, obscurring themselves from view. A few seconds later, and the rain stopped. The mist that was created cleared to reveal Naruko Namikaze and Harry Evans. Naruko still had on the orange jumpsuit, but it was soaked. Her soaked hair went down to her waist, and she had red eyes, and her mother's height at that age. Harry was also soaked, his outfit was a little more revealing though, since he chose to where a pure white shirt, with no mist or fog to hide in. her hair mercifully draped down his back, as well as down her front in the right places, hiding her developing chest from the others. Her eyes were emerald green, but were her dad's shape. She had her mother's height.

"Who are you girls?"

"I'm Naruko namikaze, and my sister is Harry Evans."

Naruko looked at Harry, smiling, oblivious to Harry's predicament. Naruko, being the ever kitsune-like prankster, and not knowing of Harry's see-through shirt, wondered why harry's hair was where it was. Now, any sensible person would realise something was wrong. But Naruto wasn't sensible, and that was also the case with his female counterpart, so she moved Harry's hair out of the way, thinking there was writing on it that appeared when wet, and she wanted to show the others. Now, several things happened at once.

First, Sasuke simply stared wide-eyed.

Kakashi sweat-dropped and turned around.

Harry screamed in shock.

Sakura smacked Naruko upside the head, multiple times.

And Kyuubi was somehow smacking Harry's inner self over and over again with a plushy fox.

"Never. Use. That. Jutsu. While. Wearing. A. White. Shirt! Especially. In. Front. Of. Others!" (Any guesses on the Kyuubi's Gender)

Several other things happened at the same time by coincidence, but for different reasons.

Jiraiya sensed a change in the perverted force. He never found out why.

Tsunade won a bet. She was later found hiding in her closet. This would lead to the eventual resurrection of Voldemort.

Danzou stopped walking, and looked around, but he won't be mentioned in this story again.

Orochimaru forgot to plan for his hostile takeover of Konoha, he was too busy in a card game with his subordinates.

Dumbledore sneezed for no reason, then ate a Lemon Drop. He never saw the signs of Voldemort being in the castle.

Sirius Black escaped Azkaban two years early. He really wanted to see his godson. This will lead to a series of events leading to Wormtail's capture, but that is neither here nor there.

Fudge was caught soliciting with a minor. This led to a series of events being discovered which led to Lucius and Fudge being arrested, and Amelia Bones taking over as Minister of Magic.

Anyway, back to the story...

Harry performed the Warm Rain Jutsu, embarressed that her upper bits were shown to them. After the rain dissipated, Harry took the shirt off and wrung it out, feeling like a giant fox demon had spent the better part of a half-hour beating him with a fox. A _plushy_ fox. _Who knew the Kyuubi liked plushies._

Sasuke was scowling. _Why couldn't I have had the Sharingan? I could have burned that image to memory forever, and use my imagination to age it as we did..._ He suddenly involentarily shuddered, thinking about an old, female topless Harry. _Some things are better without the Sharingan then._

"Now, the boy who gave us an involuntary flash earlier. Harry..."

"Potter, sir. My female self is Evans. I don't know what I like, too complicated right now. I dislike those who do was Naruto did to me, or go farther." everyone, especially Sakura, shuddered at this. They all knew what he meant. "My hobby is learning new things about my heritage. My dream, is to be the best in whatever I choose to do with my life."

"Alright, Namikaze, your turn."

"Right. My name is Naruto Uzumaki. MY female self is Naruko Namikaze. Not sure why anyone would to be called wave wind, but... My likes are ramen, friends and training. My dislikes are the time it takes to heat up ramen, and Iruka-Sensei's lectures. A ghost could give better lectures..."

In the academy, Iruka sneezed.

In Hogwarts, Professor Binns, the only Ghost Professor at Hogwarts simply went about his business.

Anyway,

"My hobbies are learning nerw Jutsus, and tasting new ramen. My dream is to be the Best Hokage, and to find out who my parents are."

Kakashi smiled, before looking at the Uchiha.

"Uchiha..."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I have few likes, but I will forever remember seeing--" censored. "My dislikes are my brother, Itachi, and anyone else who kills their clan or family."

Somewhere in Hogwarts, an odd sneezing sound occurs from behind Quirrel, Snape heard it but paid it no mind.

"My goal is to kill Itachi, and make him answer to his crimes."

Sarutobi's two teammates sneezed, but he paid it no mind, hoping someone would take his job from him before he died.

Kakashi smiled.

"Good. Now, tomorrow, I want everyoen to report to Training Ground 7 at 8:00 sharp. We'll be performing a test with a 33 percent success rate. Ja ne."

He vanished, going to the memorial stone. Before they started moving, they heard the unearthly sound that is Kakashi screaming.

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: That was Chapter, partly filler, mostly comedy. Some seriousness. All in all, Harry's breasts caused a lot of good and bad, right? R&R.**

**Translations:**

Raikiri: Lightning Edge (English Naruto Anime: Lightning Blade)

Chidori: Thousand Birds

Kage Bunshin: Shadow Clone

Kawarimi: Substitution

Bunshin: Clone

Henge: Transformation

Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu: Fire Element: Grand Fireball Technique (English Naruto Anime Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)

Rasengan: Spiraling Sphere

Fuuton: Kienzan: Wind Element: Cutting disc (English DBZ anime: Destructo Disc)

Rasengan Rendan: Spiraling Sphere Combo (English Naruto Manga: Rasengan Barrage)

Orioke no Jutsu: Sexy Technique (English Naruto Manga: Art of the Ninja Centerfold; English Anime: Sexy Jutsu)

Orioke: Onna no Ko Dōshi: Sexy Double Knockout Girls Technique (English: Sexy Twosome Girls Knockout)

Fuuton: Kazegiri: Wind Element: Wind Slash (English: Wind Style: Slicing Wind)

Orioke Otoko no Jutsu: Sexy Guy Technique (English: Male Sexy Jutsu)

Orioke: Otoko no Ko Doshi: Sexy Double Knockout Boys Technique

Oodama Rasengan: Great Ball Spiraling Sphere (English: Giant Rasengan)

Oodama Rasengan Rendan: Great Ball Spiraling Sphere Combo (English: Giant Rasengan Barrage)

Hinotama: Fireball

Raikoutama: Lightning Ball ( English: Ball Lightning)

Raikou Bakudan: Lightning Bomb

Hi bakudan: Fire Bomb


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry for not posting in a while. Just went through a house fire, multiple movings, loss of several animals, and a broken computer, I'm ready to resume.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto. All characters and locations are the properties of J. K. Rowling and Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Chapter 6: The Bell Test and a Surprise**

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Harry all heard Kakashi scream, but none of them knew him well enough to care. They all left the building, and split up. Sasuke went to the Uchiha compound, with Sakura tailing, and Naruto and Harry went to the Saotome compound, where they lived. As soon as the two brothers walked in, they were greeted by an old man, with a white beard that went down to his waist, and was dressed in a strange robe.

_"Ah, Mr. Potter, or as you are called now, Mr. Saotome. It is a pleasure to meet you and your brother at last."_ The mysterious man said.

Harry looked at him as though he had five heads. The only word he understood was Saotome. Dumbledore noticed the look of confusion and chuckled, before pulling out a strange liquid and injesting it.

"That should clear things up. Now, it's nice to finally meet you, Harry."

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Harry asked, curiosity written on his face.

"Yes, yes. Introductions are in order. My name is Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm here because you, your brother and two others who aren't here yet, have all been accepted at my school. Your name, Harry, has been down since birth, but everyone else's have been down since their first bout of magical ability. Plus, I'm looking for a teacher of a new class, one which doesn't require magic, and figured I'd search here. When I saw Mr. Hatake in action many years ago, I knew it was a shame he had no magical ability."

Naruto spoke up then. "But, Oji-san, I'm not magical."

"Oh, I believe you are. But you might be the first in the line for your family. Same as Ms. Haruno and Mr. Uchiha. Now, here's your letters, and I'll take my leave."

Harry and Naruto take their letters, and bid Dumbledore goodbye. They open the letters and read them to themselves, before Naruto is confused.

"Where will we get all this?"

* * *

The next morning, Harry, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all meet at training ground 7, and noticed their sensei hadn't arrived yet. Harry went through the handseals, making sure he could do them quickly, since he'll most likely have to fight Kakashi. 3 hours later, Kakashi arrived using Shunshin, with three bells tied to his waist.

"I'm glad we all made it. Now, for the test. You have until Noon to get these three bells from me. Use any method you can think of to try to get them. If you don't get a bell, you fail the test, and will be sent back to the Acadamy for more training. But remember, you must come at me with the intent to kill me, or you will fail. Everyone ready? Then Begin!"

With that the four shinobi dashed to the trees, and hid themselves well. Kakashi looked around him, and picked out each one. He sighed and pulled out his book, when he heard the sound of clones being made. He looked ahead, and saw Naruto rushing him with clones.

"A frontal attack? That's not very smart. But I guess I can teach you a few things. Ninja battle techniques, lesson 1: Taijutsu."

Kakashi put his book away, and got into a guard.

"Come."

The Naruto clones ran at Kakashi, who started dispelling them one by one. He noticed that when the clones started diminishing, more were created. He jumped into the trees and started weaving handseals.

Shinobi Battle Tactics, Lesson 2: Genjutsu! Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu!"

leaves started swirling around the Naruto clones, but they instantly dispelled. Kakashi shrugged.

"Worth a shot. Now, Shinobi Battle Tactics, Lesson 3: Ninjutsu."

Naruto smiled.

"Finally."

He focused, withm his right hand extended, and Chakra started swirling around it, shocking everyone watching.

"But that's A-Rank, how can you know it?"

Naruto ran at Kakashi who just finished weaving seals.

"Katon Gokakyu no Jutsu!"

The Jounin inhaled, then exhaled a burst of fire, which enveloped Naruto, causing multiple bursts of smoke. He sighed, before hearing the ominous sounds of swirling Chakra. He turned around, and saw Naruto with an enormous ball of spinning Chakra heading for him.

"No way!!"

_He improved on Sensei's Jutsu, making it larger! I gotta get out of range!!_

Naruto thrust the sphere forward, and an explosion ensued, covering where Kakashi and Naruto were last seen.

"NARUTO!!!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!"

**What has happened to the student and teacher? Has Kakashi survived, and what about Naruto? Will they be able to finish the test? Find out next time!**

**A/N: finally put out a chapter. Tell me what you think?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This is the next chapter of my Harry Potter/Naruto crossover. I will be adding bits of comedy to the chapters, mainly from Naruto. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and J K Rowling respectively.**

**Chapter 7:**

_Last time on Harry Potter and the Cursed Shinobi Wizard, Team 7's final Genin exam was taking place, which quickly became a battle between Naruto Uzumaki and Hatake Kakashi, with the others watching. Neither one would give, when Naruto unveiled his best attack on an unarmed Kakashi. The results, now!_

"NARUTO!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

A thud and groan was heard as Kakashi was slammed into a tree. He looked around for Naruto, before seeing a pile of ash with blinking eyes on top. This got various reactions from the team. Kakashi's eyebrow was twitching, Sakura sighed in exasperation, Sasuke's lips were twitching, and Harry was just shaking his head.

"Naruto, that is the lamest attempt at a prank I have ever seen."

At that cue, the pile of ash was covered in white smoke, and Naruto was in its place.

_With Team 8:_

Hinata was stifling a giggle. Her team had just finished their final exam, and she was spying on Team 7, having seen Naruto pull his ash pile card. Kiba heard her and decided to find out what she thought was funny.

"Yo, Hinata. What'cha giggling about?"

Hinata blushed a bit, and stuttered out her answer. "I w-was watching N-Naruto's t-team with their e-exam, and saw N-Naruto undo his t-transformation from an a-ash p-pile w-with eyes."

Kiba shook his head. Naruto would always do that when he was caught in a large explosion, trying to get some laughs. "That dumbass. He needs to refine his material."

_Back with Team 7:_

The bell signalling the end of the test went off.

"OK, we've seen Naruto's skills, but no-one else joined in. I'll give everyone but Naruto one more chance. Naruto's already passed. The rest of you haven't failed yet. You must all come at me. use everything you have to corner me. You have until sunset. Begin!"

Harry Sasuke and Sakura disappeared into the bushes while Kakashi decided to question Naruto. It took an hour for the other members of Team 7 to come up with a plan, in which time Naruto explained how he had learned and improved Rasengan. Naruto jumped away from Kakashi as Sakura, Sasuke, and Harry dashed at the Copy-nin. Sakura flew through handsigns and Kakashi was surrounded by leaves as she vanished. Kakashi got ready to dispel the genjutsu, when he was cut on the arm, drawing blood. Every time he tried to dispel the jutsu, he would get cut, so he pulled his headband up off his left eye, revealing his Sharingan. With the aid of his Dojutsu, he evaded Sakura, but didn't appear to catch Sasuke as he went behind the nin and caught him in a fireball. When it cleared, the leaves vanished, and only a charred corpse remained of Kakashi.

"I don't understand. I couldn't have killed him, my attack didn't have enough power-"

Sasuke immediately stopped talking as he heard the sound of a sword against flesh. He turned to see what happened, and saw Harry collapse, a sword through his chest. He heard the sound two more times, and turned to sww Sakura and Naruto collapse in the same way. He tried to dispel whatever genjutsu he thought was affecting him, only for the image to stay. He stared in anguish over what he thought had really happened, and yelled in frustration, his eyes changing color to red, with two tomoe in each eye. He then noticed that what he was seeing was starting to distort, as his Sharingan saw through the illusion. After a few minutes, what he saw shattered and rearranged itself removing what was incorrect, while restoring what was correct in the process. When it was over, Kakashi collapsed to his knees as his Sharingan eye changed from a three-pointed shuriken with lines across each point to three tomoe. The Copy-nin also had a kunai to his throat, curtosy of Harry. Sasuke smiled slightly before collapsing himself, his Sharingan vanishing. Kakashi spoke up.

"While... this team... needs work, you all... pass... Team meetings... will be... postponed... for a while, while I... rest up... Congratulations..." he then collapsed, having overtaxed his body by using his Mangekyo, and having his Tsukuyomi genjutsu disrupted. The members of Team 7 helped Kakashi to the hospital, before going their separate ways.

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: That is Chapter 7. More action than dialogue, and I apologize for that. Yes, I gave Kakashi the Mangekyo Sharingan early, and Sasuke the Sharingan early. They're both plot points for later. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please read and review.**


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